I received an e-mail today from Bryan West promoting a product for Damian Lanfranchi. And I have to wonder: Was the e-mail written so poorly, with such bad spelling and grammar, intentionally? If so, is the goal to make the sender seem more “human” and easy to relate to? Or is it just to speak to recipients at what the writer believes is their level of reading and writing ability? (A clever Dan Kennedy-type ploy?)
On the other hand, is this just the way Lanfranche (who I’d guess wrote the pitch) speaks and writes?
Who knows? Maybe more to the point: Who cares?
Here are just a few excerpts from the pitch e-mail:
- “This MAJOR news affects you) This DIRECTLY AFFECTS YOU”: [OK, OK. I get the point!]
- “I made 40,000$ on the easiest deal…I am in just for the 427$…” [What’s with the dollar sign placement?]
- “Plus Damian and Starbuck Dog are Hallarious.” [I guess that’s a lot funnier than hilarious.]
- “I can not over look it, you won’t either So that’s why I am sharing them with you” [“can not” for “cannot,” “over look” for “overlook.” No periods at the end of the sentences. And is ol’ Hollis sharing Starbuck’s knowledge with us, too?]
As for the actual pitch from Damian (and his trusty companion, Starbuck the Dog), he claims to be the creator of “the only automated, multimedia, deal-generating system on Planet Earth.” I guess modesty may not be Damian’s strong suit. The only automated, multimedia, deal-generating system on Planet Earth? Wow!
Again, we’re not rating the actual product here, just the pitch. The product may be great. (Though you have to wonder whether it can live up to that claim.) What we’re rating is the pitch e-mail and the pitch squeeze page.
Based on the illiteracy of the e-mail and the claim on the video, this earns an 8 out of 10 on our trusty Crap-O-Meter. (We liked the dog. A canine-free pitch would have earned a strong 9.)